Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Purina Diet (no, I'm NOT going to try this!!)

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

Edited to add: Sorry, *I* did not do this...I got this little gem in an email yesterday and had to share it, I thought it was too hilarious not to share!

4 Comments:

At 10:17 a.m. , Anonymous Minerva said...

NO, you didn't!! You didn't actually do that, did you? You are insane, lady! ROFL!! I can't believe you kept a straight face long enough to tell that story! You RAWK, grrly! (((HUGS)))

 
At 10:39 a.m. , Blogger Raevyn said...

No, I didn't LOL...I got that in an email. Sorry, I should have specified that.

 
At 3:01 p.m. , Anonymous Louise said...

Thanks for making my day. That's hilarous.

 
At 9:22 p.m. , Blogger Tigerlily said...

Thanks for posting that it wasn't *you* that was the *I* in this story. I truly wonder if someone is actually dumb enough to try this? LOL. Hilarious!

 

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